DEATH and listening to GOD

I was praying today as I do every day that God would show me who needed love today, who needed an ear to listen, I was praying today as I do every day that he would use me. As I was walking in church during my 40 minute break from teaching Selah kids fitness, I felt a tugging at my heart, like someone needed my encouragement.
I looked down the hall and saw  Nicole, the beautiful Nicole. She didn't look like her normal happy self. This is a girl I have rarely ever seen NOT smiling. I thought to myself " how strange" Gave her a hug and was interrupted and kept right on walking.
Her face came to me several times today, but I brushed it off.
 Her sadness just seemed so unlike her, I thought " maybe she is upset with me, maybe I offended her"

I was getting ready for bed and I checked my facebook and there were the words...
"MICHELLE LABELLE has 2 weeks to live!!"
WHAT?
NO!!!
This can't be true!

Sad, how I had seen her sister today and instead of being there for her, which ironically I  was praying I would do. I  made it all about me. I let me insecurities get the better of me. Instead of seeing a hurting women, I thought it must be something I did. What the heck? Talk about selfish!

Will I miss Michelle on a daily basis?
No, I won't.
Have I even talked to the girl more than a handful of times?
No, I haven't.
But this girl was so FULL OF LIFE, anyone who has ever had the pleasure of meeting her remembers her. Her smile was contagious and real. She asked questions each time she saw me, and knew about what was going on in my life. She made me feel special and that I mattered. Jesus oozed out of this women.
 I wanted to sit down and read tonight, but instead I sit here and cry out to God to spare her life. All I can do is think about what this family is going through and the road they are about to travel. It is a long lonely road.
I imagine that she will soon be with my precious brother and my sister. I wonder what they will talk about. I wonder how Heaven looks and I picture Jesus's kind loving face welcoming her home.
When I picture him it is often like we see in this picture. A loving kind Father who cares about each one of us in the deepest way we could ever know.  I see him smiling with open arms as Michelle runs into his arms of love laughing and dancing with joy...

I think about Nicole's (her sister's) Marriage, her grief and how it will affect her children and how grief will infect every area of her life, every ounce of who she is.  I cry for Michell's parents and how the loss of a child with change them in ways they could never imagine. I think of her husband's dreams being shattered, his hope gone. I think how they will feel so loved right now and in a year how they will wonder where all the support has gone, because the hurt will just be starting to sink in at that point. The days ahead will seem long and they will forget what it feels like to feel full and happy and wonder if they can ever fully live again. Everything they see will be tainted by death. Conversations will seem pointless and empty.
I cry because I know the road they are to travel, the journey ahead will be long and so lonely and filled with questions. It is a road I have walked, sometimes crawled along on my hands and knees, a road filled with much hurt, a road that will change them in more ways than they can ever know.
And I cry out to our Creator and I ask WHY?