Prayers matter

I woke up in the middle of the night to my eldest crying" mama, I need you"
I ran as quickly as I could and she said it was her tummy.  She crawled into bed with me but her tummy was hurting so badly she couldn't sleep. I knew right away it wasn't a flu like tummy ache.

I actually felt what she was feeling, it was a pain around the belly button and it just felt different. God has often shown me how someone is feeling so I can relate better.  He especially does it with my children's, or my little sisters pain.  When he does this it really helps me to not get so stressed out and it helps me to know how to pray better.

 I rubbed her back because that seemed to give her relief. I stayed up and rubbed her for about 4 hours and then she finally fell asleep at 5 am and then my little sky woke up crying from terrible scary dreams.

As the clock hit 6 am, and I still hadn't gotten more than 2 hours of sleep, I remembered my commitment to wake up an hour earlier in the morning. My brain felt like mush, I could barely think and sky was being extremely demanding. 
Lately I was not having enough alone time in the mornings. I only had 1 hour in the morning before the kids and chaos started and it wasn't enough. I need one hour for God and one for my business to get the day started right. I am not going to lie, I can fall into law like living very easily and it was tempting. But God whispered to me a gentle reminder, it is not about the LAW!  
And I remembered it is about GOD, not what people think, not about checking off all the boxes. 
It is about my heart! And he sees my heart.

We went to Selah, even though Kaylani was feeling horrible. This girl is a trooper and HATES missing anything where she can learn, or socialize. After Selah she was done. I carried her in from the car and she lay down crying in pain. The pain changed and now was a sharp pain in her lower right side.
The phone rang and her friend Simea was calling telling her she thought it sounded like an appendix. So thankful for friends like this.  I did a little research and it sure did look like it was appendix and her pain was getting really bad at this point.  So  carried her to the car and off we went to emergency. 

They agreed it was her appendix, and wanted to operate, but the generator was down because of the storm so they couldn't risk the hydro going out. What were the chances , a storm in early Oct?
They quickly made arrangements for an ambulance to take her to children's. This little girl was in so much pain, and I was crying. I was trying so hard to be brave, but I felt so scared and thoughts of my brother and sister dieing just kept coming back. I was griped in fear.   I started to shake and I couldn't think straight as I was calling Charles and trying to figure out who could teach our bootcamp and who could watch the kids and hwo he was going to get to the hospital.  ( thanks Analisa, and Dana and Maddie, Mom and Dad and everyone else who offered to help)

As I looked at my little girl, the little girl that gave me a reason to live again after I had given up 10 years before  all I could do was picture her in a casket. 
I know this might sound crazy to a few of you, but after so many close people have gone to be with our king, it is very real to me.
Her face was pale and she had dark circles under her eyes and she was crying " MAMA, it hurts" As a mom you want to make it all better and I couldn't. We kept praying and I sang made up songs about Jesus and his love and how he is our healer I sang verses I knew that came to my head all about the power of our King.  I felt God saying to me " she is mine"  I cried out to God, " but God I need her longer" God has often talked to me about this, about really giving my children to him, whatever that means. That is scary stuff! As I sat there shaking in fear I started to really truly let go, to release my child to him, whatever that meant.

Last week we had the wonderful Maddie watch our children as we went to the marriage retreat. This was a HUGE deal, you see I haven't left my children EVER.  For a couple of reasons, The fear of death being the number one. Last week I realized that fear was not gripping me anymore when it came to my children dieing. Well, as I sat there with my limp little girl, doubled over and crying in pain I felt that all to familiar fear grip me, and it was strong. I felt weak and out of control and scared. Every story of people going under that ever went wrong was brought to my memory.

As I was shaking and crying I posted a note on facebook for prayer.

FINALLY the ambulance driver came in.  "YES," I was thinking, "LETS GO!" I knew that if it ruptured it would be a much longer recovery. Then his phone rang and they said they had to go to another call.WHAT? We had no idea how long this could take, I was not going to sit there and wait for who knew how long. I asked if we could drive her. They agreed with my decision, they also thought that time mattered. My parents had come and they offered to take us, so we went with them. 

On the way as I was singing to this little child imagining how I could ever live without her, the fear was getting stronger, and the picture of her dead was clear in my mind. I had a flashback of my brother in the casket and it was real and frightening. I thought, we have no control, NO CONTROL!
But I kept singing God's truth and his promises and then like a wave coming over me I felt peace, a strong peace that was undeniable. I felt God's  strong arms wrapping around us and it was real. 

The fear was completely GONE! 
It was GONE! 
I knew everything was ok and I really believed it. 

Kaylani started to improve from that moment on. 
They were planning to rush her into surgery when we arrived at Children's , but by the time we got there she was doing so much better they didn't. We still stayed until 11 for tests .
 As we sat they I asked God who needs your love here, who needs encouragement. So I walked around the room making eye contact and encouraging others. I wondered if that is why God sent us there, maybe someone here needed a hug or a little love. 

This experience reminded  me so many things...
GOD is in control and HE IS GOOD!
Our friends are INCREDIBLE!
PRAYER makes a difference!

I wish you could feel what I felt, how God's wave of protection covered us in this storm.  
I could never tell it with enough feeling to explain how it felt, all I know is Prayer changes things...so THANKYOU to all of you who prayed. 
Your prayers made a difference today.
LOVE and thankfulness
Tami

We have more testing today and her tummy does still hurt , but not nearly as intense. 
Not sure what will happen, but I have a peace about it all that is a peace that only God can bring.